Winter, Four Ways

As we begin to see a little melt off here in my new Midwestern home, I'm inspired to reflect a bit about winters I've spent in other places, at other times in my life. Here, winters are much like those in New York/New Jersey, where I lived for 25 years. But I haven't lived in that region for a long time so I've forgotten about things like dirty, ugly snow on the side of the roads and trying to walk anywhere when sidewalks are only 50 percent cleared, at best.

Here, then, are some reflections on winters past.

Thoughts about an impending snowstorm:

• East Coast—*%#@ my car will be snowplowed in. Again.
• Midwest—Maybe I should invest in that snow blower.
• Colorado—Righteous! Where's my snowboard?
• Dallas—What's a snow shovel?

On winter footwear:

• East Coast & Midwest—Thank God for fashionable boots.
• Colorado—Thank God for snowshoes.
• Dallas—Thank God for closed-toe pumps.

On keeping warm at home:

• East Coast & Midwest—Throw another log on the fire!
• Colorado—Load up that wood stove.
• Dallas—Where is that fireplace remote?

On what to do in the snow:

• East Coast & Midwest — Find a hill and go sledding.
• Colorado — Find a mountain and go skiing.
• Dallas — Find a laptop and go shopping.

Overheard on Groundhog Day:

• East Coast — That &^# rodent is never right.
• Midwest — Oh, that Punxsutawney Phil is just the cutest, dontcha know.
• Colorado — Who cares? It's sunny all year long here!
• Dallas — Let's book a flight to Cancun!

Maybe I'll have the pleasure of adding other places to this list before I reach my end. Let's just hope it's after the kids have flown the coop.